Worst Day Ever Feeling

You know those days that just won't go your way? or maybe it can stretch out the be as long as a week of just plain old sucky stuff. Well that was my today. Well it was my last week as well. I bet if the weather was more sunny, I'd be feeling a little better though..

the phone that caused me so much trouble, big bill and small message memory

So there isn't really any reason for the pics here, randomly chose them since they reminded me of something that didn't quite turnout like I thought.

I used to love bagels, but they just started making me wanna throw up..

Today just didn't even start off right, first thing in the morning I found myself in an argument about sarcasm. The topic right of the bat is ridiculous to begin with, but it just shows that misunderstandings happen when you don't really understand one another. Though I don't like arguments at all, it is better to have one concerning something meaningless than something big. I just know this one would have been avoided quite easily and the outcome was unfortunate. Thats just the way life is I guess, you need to learn from confrontation to grow and change as a human begin. 

Sometimes I feel I need a band aid on feelings.

Arguments also teach you about yourself. I've learned quite a lot about myself, like I tend to be meaner to the people whom are close to me. It's mostly though a learned habit that came from people around me, but it has no comparison to how mean I am to myself. I truly am my worst enemy, I constantly battle with feelings of worthlessness and such. I'm also much more emotional that people give me credit for, words truly do hurt no matter what, no matter if it's a joke. Yet from all this I've also changed as a person, I'm not as stubborn as I used to be and I have more patience. I let things slide easily and don't concentrate on the little things. Yet sometimes I do give up to easily since it's tied to the worthlessness feeling of mine. I'm happy that I am more patient and calm, but I'm sad that I can't anymore stand up for myself.

You know that saying about children becoming their parents, well I can see it in me now better than before. I'm truly like my mother, whom I love dearly. Yet in some aspects I though I would not be like her. Turns out I was wrong. Is it good or bad, we will see in the future.

some days you feel like there is no exit out of your sadness.

 So my day continued, with rain and a presentation(which went well I hope). Yet I was so exhausted the entire day, lack of sleep and the great start to the day. So I did something I rarely do, I skipped a class and went to take a nap. The idea was to take a short nap and then do my Chinese homework. Well for some reason I ran out of time, did part of my homework badly and even forgot to do one exercise. To top it all off, I could not remember not one single character combined with their pinyin. So my quiz sucked beyond belief. This really made me feel sad, since Chinese class has been my favorite all along. Yes again I am being my worst enemy and beating myself about this.

I really need to study harder..

I also came across this notion, most of my days that I am on my laptop I spend on Facebook. I seriously waste a lot of time I could be studying or doing anything else on that. Though I have to say I really do like using it and never thought I would leave it. Today in regard to many other factors I left it. Though I wasn't as drastic as to delete everything, I just posted letting everyone know I won't be there anymore and to email me if they wanna talk to me. So I might drop by to check out any pictures my friends have added that include me and see if someone hasn't got my email, but from now on I won't waste time there. Sure it sounds like a drastic move and it is, but it's like drugs you can't quit if you just lessen your use you gotta cut it all off. So that's what I did. Maybe one day far away from now, I'll return but for now this is the best choice. Besides I gotta be realistic, nowadays the greatest marketing potential is in social medias and it just something that cannot be ignored. I am in the business field none the less but for now in my studies I really need to concentrate.

emotional pens, I'm for sure the blue one at the moment

So that's pretty much my worst day ever today. I kinda went into more detail than I thought but I just felt like writing. When there is something good or bad in your life you want to share it, this is just one of those things. Gosh anyway I should really head to sleep, my head is killing me being sick sucks! Especially when you can't have your moms wonder juice to make you feel better. Well that's just the idea of this exchange, to grow up and not be so dependent on mommy. I have to admit though, my exchange is not what I thought it would be. Canada is great and all, but the people aren't as I thought and I miss home so much. Well not home but someone whom perfects the quote home is where the heart is. Unlike the rest of the exchange students here, I can't wait to go home. I even thought about getting tickets to fly home today, but I didn't yet.

sometimes you feel like the fire hydrant that the dog just pissed on

Anyway don't wanna bum anyone out too much that read this, no more sad sad post to come. Just happy or at least happy on the surface kind of posts to come. Hey Halloween season is right around the corner!