The Difficulties of Being Aware

Take time to relax and enjoy the sunsets... sunrises are too hard to get up for :)

As I ponder what has been happening, I realise that for a while I have kinda zoned out of the real world and lived in my own little bubble. I guess that is quite common for families but all of a sudden you realise that you have missed out on a lot.

I have always been awkward in social situations. I often blurt out something that may or may not hurt someone else feelings and on many occasions I do not know how to hold on to a conversation. Yet at the same time, there are people with whom I find it exceedingly easy to just talk for hours at a time, but when I don't know the person it becomes increasingly difficult to speak. Especially if I have to speak Finnish, isn't that ironic? So yes I am shy, at times painfully so, thus you could propose that I really haven't missed out on anything anyway. Yet I feel as if I have and of course in somethings I have. I guess thats more of what life is, you cannot be everywhere at once. You cannot keep the same lifestyle at all points in time. And you always miss what you have lost and crave what you do not have. Then again with this age of social media, and a tendency of people being more "me, me, me", the real anxiety I get is from what others share as their life.. which may be really different from what it actually is..

More so I zoned out of what was happening in the bigger picture, in the world etc. When you are shoved back in, there a things that have really shocked me and things that make me feel optimistic. At times I am boiling with rage toward decision makers on all levels, and then I read interesting research topics that spark belief in a better future. What most surprices me is the general attitude of people. How much hatred is spread out at least online, people saying things I bet they wouldn't dare say to someone's face. Why is it that people feel ok to bash someone online? Why is it that when discussing any topic, people turn to arguing with profanities rather than having a real mature discussion?

Not only is it this environment of hate online but also what seems to be interesting to people, like environmental issues are still seen as a politic debate not a real actual problem. People are more focused on following celebrities that may or may not have any talent. This tendency of putting your own happiness and desires first, and ignoring everything else worries me. So much could be achieved when worked towards a common good rather than focusing on the near future. Anyway as can be seen I have been reading quite a lot of interesting books on sustainability, not only on an environmental level but on the whole. The sad part is that any issue out there in relation to environment and social issues, seems to already have a solution.. so where is the problem?