Time jump from 2016 to 2021

These pictures are from 2016, from 5 years ago, and they have been sitting in my drafts box for how long now? You could say this blog started wilting down already earlier than that.. So why come back now? Perhaps because I'm testing out Google Analytics and this is the only site I can track or maybe because I have had ideas for a while that I wanted to post, but never got around to it.. Mostly because I have some travel pictures and stories I wanted to write out.. I'm not sure what will happen though, since I have a lot of things to do nowadays as a researcher attempting to complete a PhD. Yes I went from completing my Master's degree to yet another level of education, I must be insane but for those interested here is something about my current research.

On the other hand today I was reading about AI and its conclusion that to solve poverty we must force the rich to give up their money by means of violence. This thought got me thinking about is this conclusion that AI came at actually logical or rather learnt from the violent history of mankind? This thought came to me as from what me know of such cases, the algorithms or AI learn from what is previously done. For example a recruiting algorithm began to sort out women as it learnt how to spot them based on what was written on their CVs. So AI learns from what we have done as humans, but research has already shown that we are far from logical and rather an emotional species, so does AI learn from our erratic behaviour and make so called logical decision based on that premise or could it actually come to a more neutral field beyond emotions? But where would it learn such behaviour when its examples are so illogical? I have always found AI to be scary as it is far beyond our control, but to add to it that it would learn from the violent past of humans is far scarier than the technology itself. 

Lovely light thinking for today, wouldn't you think?

The Breathing of Daydreamers

Breathing.. I listen to them breathing, so calmly. Far away in the dream land, both of them flying. I'm left here wondering. Only the clock keeps me company. Oh why shan't I fly away with them. Oh yes, work calls me to battle. The never ending battle against deadlines. Yet my head is where my heart is. In-between the rhythmic breathing, of daydreamers far away. 

Something that came to my mind, when I was battling against the desire to just relax and my homework. Motivation is such a strange thing, its always missing except when its time to sleep. But even then its only directed at things that aren't urgent. Like writing this post.

The sun shines against the yellow walls of the buildings here. It feels as if we have wondered into a dream like place, only seen in our travels. Spring, feelings of spring come to mind. Ideas of warmth, flowers and lighter clothes run around. Foolish ideas, leading us to premature preparations and possible colds. Oh how I wish I was free.

I saw this gorgeous jacket on a blog and just fell in love with it.. but the first size I ordered online, an S, was way too big for me. That rarely happens to me, so of course I went to change it at the local store and got a smaller size. I've worn in out a few times and it just always makes me feel elegant :) Hence far more pictures of it than anything to say, which given my tired state is a good option.

Jacket Zara - Tee Kappahl - Jeans Bikbok - Shoes Converse - Sunglasses Cubus

The Difficulties of Being Aware

Take time to relax and enjoy the sunsets... sunrises are too hard to get up for :)

As I ponder what has been happening, I realise that for a while I have kinda zoned out of the real world and lived in my own little bubble. I guess that is quite common for families but all of a sudden you realise that you have missed out on a lot.

I have always been awkward in social situations. I often blurt out something that may or may not hurt someone else feelings and on many occasions I do not know how to hold on to a conversation. Yet at the same time, there are people with whom I find it exceedingly easy to just talk for hours at a time, but when I don't know the person it becomes increasingly difficult to speak. Especially if I have to speak Finnish, isn't that ironic? So yes I am shy, at times painfully so, thus you could propose that I really haven't missed out on anything anyway. Yet I feel as if I have and of course in somethings I have. I guess thats more of what life is, you cannot be everywhere at once. You cannot keep the same lifestyle at all points in time. And you always miss what you have lost and crave what you do not have. Then again with this age of social media, and a tendency of people being more "me, me, me", the real anxiety I get is from what others share as their life.. which may be really different from what it actually is..

More so I zoned out of what was happening in the bigger picture, in the world etc. When you are shoved back in, there a things that have really shocked me and things that make me feel optimistic. At times I am boiling with rage toward decision makers on all levels, and then I read interesting research topics that spark belief in a better future. What most surprices me is the general attitude of people. How much hatred is spread out at least online, people saying things I bet they wouldn't dare say to someone's face. Why is it that people feel ok to bash someone online? Why is it that when discussing any topic, people turn to arguing with profanities rather than having a real mature discussion?

Not only is it this environment of hate online but also what seems to be interesting to people, like environmental issues are still seen as a politic debate not a real actual problem. People are more focused on following celebrities that may or may not have any talent. This tendency of putting your own happiness and desires first, and ignoring everything else worries me. So much could be achieved when worked towards a common good rather than focusing on the near future. Anyway as can be seen I have been reading quite a lot of interesting books on sustainability, not only on an environmental level but on the whole. The sad part is that any issue out there in relation to environment and social issues, seems to already have a solution.. so where is the problem?

Country roads, take me home to the place I belong

So I had a few more thought provoking posts lined up, but somehow these pictures didn't seem to portray what I had to say. So instead some random rambling from a tired traveller. This summer I didn't really get to travel anywhere fancy, as we were saving up to during the winter months. So instead my mom and I decided to do a girls only trip within Finland to go see the largest town shop. We first drove to Turku to take my bike there so I can ride to school, though I think I might still decide to walk as I will be hunting Pokemon. (Yes I'm into that too, blame my niece) Then this morning we started up north towards Tuuri. We will spend a day there and then maybe go a little bit more up to see Ähtäri, and its Zoo. Then we will head back home to pick up Panda from the airport. 

So this outfit I wore to a more casual party, hence the converse. I got the dress from taobao and have to say the quality shocked me enormously. Its so soft, doesn't make you feel hot and won't wrinkle at all. The shirt is also from China though as fabric that a seamstress in Finland made for me, though with my current DIY frenzy I might be able to do it myself soon as well :)

Thesis contemplation

Writing my master's thesis has become a source of contemplation and stress. I changed my first proposed topic for another, once I realized that the topic I had in the first place wasn't moving along. I think I reached a limit of how much of the particular concepts I could take, they have been all around me during the academic year and it was enough. Sure this new topic of mine has connections to some concepts from the previous topic, but everything can be connected to everything if you just try. haha... Yet what I keep bumping into is the fact, that no matter how hard I try to decide a topic I would like to study, someone somewhere tells me I should approach it from these concepts and theories, and not the ones I had chosen in the first place.

Its like anything I seem interested in, can be modified to be in relation to psychology, which don't get me wrong is all fine and dandy, but I wanted to do something more. Sure it is imperative to understand how we humans and further the organizations and groups we perform in work, but does everything have to be discussed from such a limited perspective of topics? In the first place I was interested in learning more about the service dominant-logic, but was directed towards customer engagement - so why people do anything in relation to a company.. Now I was returning to a passion of mine, the environment and CSR in the form of the circular economy and blue economy concepts, but was suggested to study motivational theories - so why companies would choose to use these environmental strategies.

Yet in my mind to study motivation in regards to the environment, seems to allow the thinking that there are no environmental issues to discuss. A debate that can be seen, usually in politics that unfortunately is as useful as stabbing oneself in the eye. The environment has changed, more so by the action of man than naturally, the resources we have are scarce because we use them illogically and there are too many people on this earth to be sustained by the current processes in action. So to me it just seems like a waste of time to study motivation, as it would imply that there isn't a pressing need to change the way the world works. Sure from another perspective it would be crucial to know how could we, on a rapid pace change how the decision makers in big companies view the environment.

And as any diligent blogger I have filled this post written in the beginning of summer with early spring pictures from Turku... maybe the next post might even be real time? Scary thought..